


Incorrect SPN

by DovahCourts



Series: Incorrect Quotes [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel (Supernatural) is Called Clarence, Demon Dean Winchester, Dirty Jokes, Don't copy to another site, Gen, Incorrect Quotes, Incorrect SPN, Leviathan Castiel (Supernatural), Leviathans, Soulless Sam Winchester, references, unless you have my EXPLICIT permission
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2019-10-10 02:41:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 231
Words: 7,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17417495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DovahCourts/pseuds/DovahCourts
Summary: From my twitter!





	1. You but cooler

Sam: "Who are you guys?"

Leviathan as Dean: "We're you," *flips out sunglasses and puts them on* "but cooler."

 

[Twitter Post](https://twitter.com/DovahCourts/status/1036300690987999233)


	2. How High?

Dean: Cas, how high are you?

Castiel: Dean, you're saying it wrong it's "Hi, how are you?"

 

[Twitter Post](https://twitter.com/DovahCourts/status/1059526611140206592)


	3. Closet?

Sam: Where's Cas?

Dean: Have you checked the closet?

Sam: Why would he be in the-

Cas: *falls out of the closet holding red meat*

[Twitter Post](https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1059531603091701761)


	4. Unicorn

Meg: I know exactly what you are.

Castiel: What? Tell me...

Meg: 𝘜𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘯..

Castiel: *sighs*

 

[Twitter Post](https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1059542458546044928)


	5. Where's Meg?

Castiel: Where's Meg?

Dean: ....

Sam: ....give us a moment Cas.

*the both of them turn around*

Sam: *whispers* Should we tell him?

 

[Twitter Post](https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1059544227237883904)


	6. I didn't do anyhting

Castiel: *absorbs Purgatory souls*

Dean: Cas, what the fuck did you do?

Castiel: .......

Castiel: I didn't do anything..

[Twitter Post](https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1059546177220173824)


	7. Upsexy

 

Dean: This place looks like upsexy.

Castiel: What's upsexy?

Dean: Nothing much, what about you?

Castiel: ....

Castiel: I don't get it.

 [Twitter Post](https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1059548072861003776)

 

 

 

 


	8. Young n Sexy

Castiel: *goes around playing God*

Castiel: *kills a priest in a Church*

Lady: *witnesses* Damn, he's so young and sexy even though he just killed someone.

 

[Twitter Post](https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1059546911340847104)


	9. It's 1 AM

Cas: Meeegggg??

Dean: Cas, it's 1 in the morning right now you're going to wake people up.

Cas: But I'm looking for Meg

Dean: smh

 

[Twitter Post](https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1059550916339089408)


	10. Die then

Dean: Have a safe trip!

Castiel: I have no say in that matter.

Dean: 𝘋𝘪𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯..

Castiel:...but..I can't die.

Dean: It was a j o k e.

 

[Twitter Post](https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1059574440936128512)


	11. You don't need a horn, to be a Unicorn

Dean: Cas, why do I feel like there's a hellhound in here?

Castiel: .....

Castiel: Maybe it's just you, Dean.

Dean: I'm serious man, I've been hearing a hellhound last night.

Castiel: Must be your imagination.

Dean: I felt it breathing down my n e c k.

Castiel: ..imagination....

Dean: Cas, are you lying to me?

Castiel: No... Sam: Guys, I found a hellhound.

Castiel: That's mine Dean: Cas, you lied.

Castiel: Oh... Dean: Cas. Castiel: Yes?

Dean: why do you have a hellhound?

Castiel: ... Castiel: No reason...

Dean: We have to get rid of it.

Castiel: No. Dean: Yes.

Castiel: I'm running away with it then, and I'm bringing Jack with me.

[Twitter Post](https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1059577465419390976)


	12. Shoot twice

Demon!Dean: If there were 3 people in the room: Cas, Sam, and Crowley, and I had a gun and two bullets.

Demon!Dean: I would shoot Cas twice.

[Twitter Post](https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1059582355264856066)


	13. Hellhound

Meg: Cas is my unicorn

Cas: But...I do not have a horn...

Meg: You don't have too, 

[Twitter Post](https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1059594947186253824)


	14. Talking to Ghosts

Cas: Hey, Meg?

Meg: Yeah?

Cas: I miss you...

Meg: .....

Meg: Miss you too...

Cas: Where are you?

Meg: .....I can't tell you that...

[Twitter Post](https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1059597950559563777)


	15. Isn't this just fantastic..

Nick: *kills Arty with a hammer*

Arty(ghost): ...well isn't this just fantastic..

 

[Twitter Post](https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1059698031992299520)


	16. Sounds more like a girlfriend

Jack: ᶜᵃˢˢ, ʷʰᵒ'ˢ ᵐᵉᵍ

Cas: ...

Cas: Friend...that I kissed...

Jack: ˢʰᵉ ˢᵒᵘⁿᵈˢ ᵐᵒʳᵉ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ᵃ ᵍᶦʳˡᶠʳᶦᵉⁿᵈ

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1059879322339631104>


	17. Not a bonfire

Dean: Hey, Cas did you start that bonfire?

Castiel:...

Castiel: That's not a bonfire...

Dean: ...

Dean: ᶜᵃˢ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘᶜᵏ

 

https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1060043653287006208


	18. Mind out of the Gutter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possibly containing some dirty jokes

Nick and Cas: *arguing*

Nick: Fuck you!

Cas: In the words of a good friend. Bite me-

Sam: *annoyed* Why don't you guys get a room and both do that!?

Dean: Get your mind out of the gutter, Sam.

https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1060285046546812928


	19. A Leviathan, a Soulless person and a Demon walk into the bar pt1

Souless!Sam: I don't care that you broke your rib-

Demon!Dean: Well then fuck you too-

Leviathan!Cas: Why do we keep on saying "Fuck you" even though we don't actually do that.

Souless!Sam:

Demon!Dean:

Leviathan!Cas: Leviathan!Cas: What?

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1060316081544282112>


	20. Enough internet

Cas: Why does the pizzaman look like Gabriel?

Sam: Sam: *throws laptop out of glass window*

Sam: That's enough internet for you.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1060322945866752001>


	21. Fight like a couple

Sam: Will you two just say sorry already!?

Nick: Not until he says sorry first.

Cas: I do not understand, what did I do?

Nick: Because you're a cold body-stealer!

Cas: I had permission,

Nick:

Nick: ThAt'S nOt An ExCuSe

Sam: Jesus friggen Christ, you guys fight like a couple.

 

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1060324021928046592>


	22. Is this what coldness feels like?

Cas: It's quite chilly

Nick: Well, no, duh; it's Winter

Cas: Is this what coldness feels like?

Nick:

Nick: *angry sigh*

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1060326477865017344>


	23. Child made of teeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Channel 0: Candle Cove reference!

Cas: Nick, I met an interesting boy

Nick: How so?

Cas: He was made of teeth-

Nick: oH HE L L N O

 

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1060327734348460034>


	24. Nick might have a wing kink in this idk

Nick: Does Castiel have a sweet spot on his wings?

Sam: Why do you ask?

Nick:

Nick: No reason, I just want to know.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1060349401950867456>


	25. It's dark

*power shortage at the Stronghold*

Cas: Nick, why are you holding my hand?

Nick:

Nick: *looks at his hand holding Cas' and at Cas*

Nick: It's dark

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1060440758971392005>


	26. Chapter 19: A Leviathan, a Soulless person and a Demon walk into the bar pt2

Leviathan!Cas: Hey, Sam you think I can get this egg into that jar without it cracking?

Soulless!Sam: No.

Leviathan!Cas: *throws egg at Demon!Dean's head*

Leviathan!Cas: Guess you're right!

<https://twitter.com/DovahCourts/status/1060998193737981952>


	27. Hide n' seek?

Dean: Cas, why are you on the ceiling?

Cas:

Cas: Hide n' Seek

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1061513402277748736>


	28. Soft Wings

Cas: Why do you keep on touching my wings?

Nick:

Nick: They're soft..

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1061514640348217344>


	29. Possibly being held captive by a sleeping person?

Dean: *calls Cas* Where are you?

Cas: With Nick, I can't leave because he's asleep.

Dean: Then leave?

Cas: He's ontop of my back, Dean.

Dean: Roll him off then,

Cas: Won't that wake him up?

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1061520891136237573>

 


	30. I got this!

Cas: It's dark-

Gabe: Don't worry bro! I got this! *stomps foot down and his sketchers light up*

Sam:

Sam: We have a flashlight

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1061725389171580928>


	31. Did it hurt?

Nick: did it hurt?

Cas: Did what hurt?

Nick: when you fell from heaven?

Cas: *insert flashbacks of the angels falling:

Cas: *sniffs* YEEEESSSSSSSSSSS *cries*Nick: what the fu-

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1061856945450020865>

 


	32. Fire pt1

Sam: That's it, we are no longer inviting you to Family-game night.

Nick: Why?

Sam:

Dean:

Dean: Literally, everything was on FiRe

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1063877754397970432>


	33. I'M NOT PREGNANT

Dean: No no no no no no.

Castiel: Hi, Dean-

Dean: *punches Cas in the stomach*

Castiel: Augh, what the FuCk!?

Dean: You are, one of my very best friends; and I cannot stand by and watch you throw away your life like that. You're so young, your so BeAuTiFul.

Castiel: *strained voice* What the fuck are you talking about?

Dean: I'm talking about the baby that's growing inside of your belly right now.

Castiel:

Nick:

Nick: See ya. *walks away*

Castiel: I'M NOT PREGNANT!

Dean: Ha, not after that punch your not, I've been taking multi-classes.

Castiel: I was never pregnant. DeAn.

Dean:

Dean: You sure?

Castiel: YES I'M FUCKING SURE.

Sam: *walks in* Excuse me, but why the FUCK is everybody yelling over here?

Dean: Oh, I found this positive pregnancy test and-

Sam: !!!

Dean: I was sure-

Sam: *punches Cas in the stomach*

Castiel: Oough MoThEr FuCkEr!!

 

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1066120594104573952>


	34. It's an avocado!

Jack: It's an avacado! Thaaankss

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1076302727225925632>


	35. Lucifer2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I watched Lucifer during 2018 of December

(I recently watched a show called Lucifer)

Lucifer: Don't tell me that this guy is me!

Gabe: That's you, but taller

Cas: Why are there two?

Gabe: Because I brought him here. 

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1076315844357976064>


	36. I can't believe

Dean: *stabs Cas*

Cas: I can't believe you've done this.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1076316653145583616>


	37. We have to cut off your arm

Dean: Meg, I have the Mark of Cain; how do I get rid of it? We tried everything!

Meg:

Dean:

Meg: I'm sorry but..

Dean: But what?

Meg: *gets out a hacksaw* We have to cut off your arm, you can get a new one.

Dean: WAIT WHAT!?

Meg: *raises hacksaw* Hold still,

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1076727363952553984>


	38. Nougats are gone

Jack: *sniffs*

Dean: Why are you crying? Did someone hurt you if they did I'll stab-

Jack: All of my nougats are gone

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1076904458842300416>


	39. Christmas pt 1

Balthazar: Who's idea was it to put Cas on the Christmas tree.

Gabe: You said every Christmas tree needs an angel.

Balthazar: Gabe, we are ALL angels, literally.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1076915882088005632>


	40. DEAN! IS THAT A WEED!?

Jack: DEAN! IS THAT A WEED!?

Dean: No, this is The Hand of Go-

Jack: I'M CALLING THE POLICE!

Jack: *aggresivly taps cookie cereal box*

Cereal Box: 911 what's your emergency?

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1076921548278181888>


	41. Christmas pt2

Cas: *on tree* Gabriel? Can I get down now?

Gabe: Not yet, 'lil bro!

Balth: He's been up there for 12 hours, Gabe.

Gabe: No need to worry, Balthy-

Balth: Don't call me that,

Gabe: -I'm a responsible older brother for Cassy, I can handle this!

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1076922644769849344>

 


	42. Toothboy again

Cas: The boy made of teeth is back, he says he's hungry.

Dean: Wait so you weren't lying?

Nick: You hunt things Supernatural and yet you said that teeth boy doesn't exist, I'm leaving now *takes a hammer and waltzs out*

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1076958354818256896>


	43. Christmas pt3

Castiel is stuck on the Christmas Tree

Gabriel is hoarding all of the candy canes

Balthazar is trying to get Cas down from the tree

Raphael is trying to cook

Lucifer is setting fire to the Christmas supplies

Chuck is watching the chaos unfold

 <https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1077405649925861377>

 


	44. Ramune

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on when I got Ramune from a grocery store

Castiel: *comes home with three grocery bags*

Sam: Cas, why are there 9 bottles of Ramune? I mean bags of nougats, I get, but, Ramune.

Castiel: Charlie introduced me to them and I thought they tasted good so I bought some more.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1078095538229174273>


	45. Maybe

Nick: I'm not gay.

Cas: *walks into room to get some papers*

Nick: *mutters under breath* OK maybe I'm a little gay...

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1079106865726873600>


	46. Lable makers pt1

Sam: Dean, why is everything labeled? I found a label that says "human" on my forehead.

Dean: I might've given Cas and Jack a label maker.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1079108266771177472>


	47. wanna know who's gay

Dean: Hey, you wanna know who's gay?

Cas: Who?

Dean: You. ♥️

Cas:

Cas: I am indifferent to sexual orientation, I have no idea what you mean.

Dean: Jesus friggen Christ.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1079114665366409216>


	48. Come home quick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean are on the phone

Sam: Dean, come home quickly.

Dean: Why?

Cas: *in the background yelling help*

Sam: Cas got his wings, stuck in the ceiling fan and I need another person since I can't see his wings.

Dean:

Dean: *sighs* I'll be home.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1079117663052288000>


	49. Warm it up

Dean: *eating icecream*

Dean: My mouth is cold

Cas: *smirks* Want me to warm it up for you?

Dean: *blushes* yes..

Cas: *hands Dean hot cocoa* Here!

Dean:

Dean: *dies inside*

Cas: This is what you asked for, right? *insert head tilt*

Dean: S-sure, yep, d-definitely

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1079139464767692800>


	50. Shortie

Cas to Micheal: FIGHT ME!

Nick: Stop telling everyone to fight you, look how small you are!

Cas: My height doesn't affect my ability to snap someone's neck in 97 different ways! INCLUDING YOURS!

Nick: You can't even reach my neck, sweetie~

Cas: Do you really want to test me now!?

Cas: Because I see step stool just a foot away from me. DO NOT MAKE ME USE IT!

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1079141566558556160>


	51. Fire pt2

Nick: I'm the most responsible one in this group!

Cas: You literally just set the kitchen on fire.

Nick: Yes, and I take responsibility for that.

 <https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1079147147809894400>


	52. Double eyeliner

Meg: You're a horrible person!

Nick: And you're a demon who wears double eyeliner

Meg: Atleast it makes my eyes look good.

Cas: *quietly* it does...

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1079148543779074048>

 


	53. Brooding

Meg: Why are you sad?

Cas: I am experiencing what humans call "Brooding" when they look out the window into the distance.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1079464033340710912>


	54. Label makers pt2

Sam: Dean, you have to hide the label makers, Jack and Cas are labeling everything!

Dean: And?

Sam: They put a lable on the pies,

Dean:

Dean: Help me find the lable makers.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1079556359245316096>


	55. Dogs pt1

Meg: Ahem.

Cas: *holding a shoebox* This isn’t what it looks like.

Meg: Are there puppies in there?

Cas: ..yeah Meg: You know they aren’t allowed in the bunker, right?

Cas: ....yeah

Meg: If you’re gonna smuggle them, in at least do it right, give the box to me, I’m a professional;

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1079568117804625920>

 


	56. Dogs pt2

Dean: Does anyone else smell dog?

Meg&Cas: No.

Dean: I can smell dog, Sam’s not here so it must be you two. Bonnie and Clyde. C

as: I’m not Cly-

Meg: Haha. I can assure you, Dean we didn’t do anything.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1079570064209195013>


	57. The OTher Lucifer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer and SPN

Meg: Why are there two Lucifers? And why is one of them wingless?

Lucifer2: I had Maze cut of my wings.

Meg: And?

Lucifer2: I burned them.

Cas: Why?

Lucifer2: I didn’t need them anymore.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1079583355820068864>


	58. Not that complicated

Meg: This is my boyfriend, Cas and his boyfriend, Nick, and I hate Nick.

Dean: How does this work?

Meg: Cas is indifferent to sexual orientation, so he can still date me while dating Nick and Nick is kinda gay for Cas, and Nick hates me.

Dean: Uh...

Meg: It’s not that complicated

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1079610594473299968>


	59. Cake is for talkers

Monster: I ain’t talking

Jack: *takes out knives and sharpens them* I have ways of making people talk

Jack: *begins cutting the cake*

Monster:

Monster: Can I have some?

Jack: *eating cake slice* Cake is for talkers

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1079646812749922304>


	60. I know you would

Cas: Get down from there!

Meg: *is up on bookshelf* No way!

Cas: I'm going to call the cops

Meg: Go ahead! I'll fight them

Cas: I have cookies

Meg: *rolls down and grabs cookies* I totally would've fought them

Cas: I know you would

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1079967683267878922>


	61. Jack's reaction to fireworks

Jack: What's this? What's this? There's something in the air.

Jack: What's this? There's bright shit everywhere.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1080020800986443776>


	62. I have an idea!

Nick: I have an idea

Cas: We're not going to kill anyone

Nick:

Nick: Then I've got no ideas

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1080506881745907712>


	63. One fear

Dean: I have no fears.

Cas: What if Sam was 11'8 tall?

Dean: I have one fear.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1080507015619739648>


	64. Is that an angel blade in your pocket

Dean: Is that an angel blade in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Cas: *takes angel blade out of pocket* It's an angel blade.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1080539016062091264>


	65. Flower crowns

Meg: Why are there flower crowns everywhere?

Cas: Dean said I have to do something else in my free time.

Meg:

Meg: Can I help?

Cas: Yes,

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1080539572130336768>


	66. Same page

Dean: You don't need to eat nougats all the time.

Jack: And you don't need to drink beer all the time or sleep with women, so I guess we're on the same page.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1080555438968455169>

 


	67. Those shirts

Dean, Sam, Meg and Cas are wearing shirts with words

Dean has the word F   
Cas has K   
Meg has C   
and Sam has U

Dean: Hey Cas you should switch places with Sam

Cas: Why?

Dean: Just do it Cas: OK

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1080952819807449088>


	68. So proud

Meg: So....where'd you find that Hellhound?

Cas: I smuggled her from Hell...

Meg:

Meg: *sniffs* I taught you so well, I am proud of you.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1080959414926958592>


	69. N O pt1

Cas: There's only one thing worse than a murderer *takes down paper revealing the word "people"*

Nick: People

Cas: n o

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1080972180798681088>


	70. Romance Novel

Raphael: The subconscious mind is a powerful and mysterious thing, I learned about it in this book.

Micheal: Raphael, that's a Romance Novel.

Raphael: Y-yuck, that's not. Mine-someone must've stuck it in there as a joke.

 

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1081010337166454787>


	71. Hooker

Charlie: I walked into a room just to see two people making out. So I walked out.

Sam: Did Dean find a hooker?

Charlie: Yes...yes he did.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1081040034059304960>


	72. Salty

Cas: You remind me of the ocean.

Dean: How so?

Cas: Salty.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1081423194869755910>


	73. Hot Milky

Officer: How do you plead?

Dean: Uh...

Sam: *mouthing "Not guilty"*

Dean: Dean: H-....hot milky.

Sam:

Sam: Take him away.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1081423194869755910>


	74. I'll kill you first

Abaddon: Abandon all hope, for I will kill every one of you.

Dean: *snirk* Don't you mean...Abaddon all hope? *loud laughter*

Cas:

Sam:

Jack:

Garth:

Abaddon:

Abaddon: I'm going to kill you first, Dean.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1081425135452602369>


	75. Pikachu play

Random person: Dies Random

Hunter 1: This is so sad, Pikachu play Despacito.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1081437614417137664>

 


	76. Smudged writing on hand

Dean: Cas I gotta tell you something

Cas: What?

Dean: I love your uh.....*reads smudged writing on hand* (it was supposed to say eyes)

Dean:

Dean: Hips...

Cas:

Cas: Dean, that's inappropriate...

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1081746248636350464>


	77. N O pt2

Cas: Say frog

Young!Jack: .....FuCk

Cas: N O

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1081792998826856453>


	78. Coffee

Sam: How do you want your coffee?

Cas, in a bad mood: Darker than the emptiness of my soul.

Sam:

Sam: Two spoonfuls of sugar with cold-brew whipped cream it is!

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1082134846732828674>

 


	79. RENEGADE ANGEL

Cas, drunk: *standing on roof* IM ON THE TOP OF THE WORLD

Dean: Cas, get down from there!

Cas, still drunk: NO! I'M A RENEGADE ANGEL I DON'T NEED TO TAKE ORDERS ANYMORE!

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1082422466553606144>


	80. Bitch

Dean: Hey, hey Cas look at me.

Cas: Yes Dean?

Dean:

Dean: Bitch

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1082818251581603840>

 


	81. Dean doesn't have a friend!

John: Who are you!?

Cas: I'm Dean's friend,

John: Dean doesn't have a friend!

Cas: That's because he doesn't tell you anything.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1082858680310063104>


	82. Demon with the less intimidating voice

Dean: Just kill me already.

Demon 1: You're not getting out of this that easy, the boss wants a word with ya.

Demon Mob Boss: *walks in with intimidatingly*

Dean: *sweats*

Demon M.B: *high pitched voice* You think you can come into my territory? And take what's mine!?

Dean, laughing: W-what!?

*Dean laughing in the bg*

Demon M.B: What? What's so funny?

Demon: Yeah, haha- That's not- That's not funny PUNK.

Demon M.B: Alright, you'll be sleeping with the fishies.

Dean, tearing up, smiling: F i s h i e s?!

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1083109782939029504>


	83. Oh my God

Nick: Is that a truck? CASTIEL MOVE THERE'S A TRUCK.

Oh my god, it's getting closer.

CASTIEL THE TRUCK'S COMING! Oh my god, he has headphones on. He can't hear me, oh my god.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1083216357955489792>


	84. Dean said I'm not allowed to cook anymore.

Cas: Dean said I'm not allowed to cook anymore.

Meg: Why?

Cas: He said I ruined pie for him.

Meg: Cook behind his back then,

Cas:

Cas: OK,

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1083494740417368064>


	85. Cas no

Sam: Oh my God, Cas are you alright!?

Cas: The doctor says that I have internal bleeding, I don't know what that is but

I'm alright because I'm not hurt that badly.

The blood is where it's supposed to be.

Sam: Cas....no.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1083648893819092992>

 


	86. Boyfriend?

Nick: and how exactly will you stop me?

Dean:

Sam:

Sam&Dean: We'll call your boyfriend.

Nick:

Nick: I don't- oh...you're talking about Castiel

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1083649873939902464>


	87. Good die

Demon 1, after trying to deal with Cas: This is killing me.

Meg: Good, die.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1083650733730197505>


	88. you've disappointed the three of us

Castiel, holding two hellhound puppies, and still mad at Dean: I'll have you know that you've disappointed the three of us.

Dean: That's cold, Cas.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1083651944944566273>


	89. Annoy him into talking

Dean: How do we get him to talk?

Kevin: I got this.

Sam: What're you gonna do? Annoy him into talking?

Kevin: *gets out a guitar and grins*

__

Kevin: *plays guitar very badly and yells*

Demon: *just stares discomfortly*

__

Kevin: Nope, didn't work.

 

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1083652758710829056>


	90. 5'11 tall

Castiel: Of course I have to yell, I'm fucking 5'11 tall I can barely reach the top of this dresser to hide Dean's beer!

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1083676860116922368>


	91. B-word

Young!Cas: Bobby! Dean called me the b-word!

Bobby: DeAn!

Young!Dean: Motherfucker doesn't start with a B. Bitch.

Bobby:

Bobby: I'm starting to question your father's parenting skills, Dean.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1083747952894431232>


	92. Oh God No

Dean: Cas, I don't want you hanging around Meg anymore.

Cas: Why not?

Dean: *opens laundry cleaner* I just have a-

Meg: *head pops out of laundry cleaner* YeAh, WhY nOt!?

Dean: Oh GoD nO

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1083749506439467008>


	93. Mr. Snuffles

Bobby: Alright, time for bed, Sam.

Young!Sam: Mr. Snuffles says I can stay up as long as I want, and you need to DIE.

Bobby:

Bobby: What the heck, Mr. Snuffles?

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1083749934170439680>


	94. Just ask Charlie brown

Nick: Society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad and wrong.

Cas: Grief isn't wrong.

Nick: Well, there's such thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1083752896749948928>


	95. Complaint

Meg: Gabriel mislabeled the weapon, like an idiot. It almost got filed with the wrong case which could've blown months of work!

Cas: Gabriel filed a complaint against you

Meg: Did he do it in crayon

Nick: Nope, but he did use a green pen.

Cas: I thought it was a colored pencil.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1083753994520952838>


	96. Cold Medicine

Sam: You know the cold medicine you gave Cas?

Meg: Yeah?

Sam: It was the non-drowsy kind, he took that and then he drank 2 cups of coffee after that.

Dean: He's all over the place

Cas: HEY! Hey, hey, guess what!? There's a video file and the eyes were glowing! SHAPESHIFTER!

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1083755804128292864>


	97. Good brother pt1

Lucifer: I'm a good older brother for Raph, Gabe and Cass. I never let them out of my sight- oh look at the time. Gotta go, Raph keep an eye on Gabe and Cass.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1083842531685613568>

 


	98. Good Brother pt2

Micheal: I'm a responsible brother like Dad always said. Nothing goes wrong when I'm in charge.

*meanwhile in the background young!Lucifer got hold of a flamethrower*

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1083900314439176192>


	99. it's milk

Cas: I thought you were Lactose intolerant.

Nick: This isn't lactose, it's milk *drinks milk from cup*

Cas: *concern*

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1084691557402341376>


	100. Mcdonalds

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1084698677401120768>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 100 Chapter milestone! Celebrated with this pic!


	101. this is a bathtub.

Dean: *sits on side of bathtub seductively* I see you don't have a lifeguard here at the beach.

Cas: *confused*

Cas: I'm not at the beach, this is a bathtub.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1084948410535358464>


	102. Why?

Cas: You can't just go around killing people!

Lucifer: *wearing terminator sunglasses and tuxedo* Why?

Cas: What do you mean why? You just can't!

Lucifer:

Lucifer: Why?

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1085327889719996416>


	103. Crucifix

Ruby: I’m a good friend

Cas: You tricked Sam into killing Lillith to free Lucifer

Ruby:

Ruby: Oh, you’re right! I’m a great friend!

Cas:

Cas: Someone hand me the crucifix.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1085782873825669121>


	104. Koifish the Hellhound

Dean: Since I found out you have a Hellhound, and told me not to kill it; what’s its name?

Cas: Her name is Koifish.

Dean: That’s a horrible name for a Hellhound.

Meg: No, it’s not, Cas can name her Koifish if he wants to. *smug grin*

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1085784720594464768>


	105. Jack the messanger

Jack: Sam,

Sam: Yes?

Jack: Dean told me to tell you this.

Sam: Tell me what?

Jack, imitating Dean’s voice: Jack, tell Sam that he’s a bitch.

Sam: Was this about the jalapeño in the pie incident?

Jack: Yes

Sam: Tell Dean I’m hiding the keys to the Impala for teaching you that word

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1085788262642343936>


	106. Back from the dead

Meg: *kicks down door* Guess who’s back from the dead!

Cas, sad puppy-dog eyes: Y-you were dead?

Meg: *panicking* U-uh! No! No I wasn’t, that was a metaphor, uh- I was just- uh...on...o a farm!

A farm that was very far away, yeah!

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1085795696823828481>


	107. Mating Calls?

Gabriel: *recording*

|Insert HD video quality, the video shows Cas and Dean|

Gabriel: And here we have the human, trying to attract his date by using mating calls.

Dean: *strums random guitar strings while sounding like a dying animal*

Castiel: *nervously scoots away from Dean*

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1086525108422754304>

 


	108. OH MY GO-

Cass: Kitchen! *points at Kitchen*

Cass: Meeting room! *points at the Bunker's meeting room*

Cass: Bathroom! *points at bathroom*

Cass: Bedroom! *points at bedroom*

Cass: *opens closet door* Closet! *points at closet to see a dead body*

Cass: OH MY GO-

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1086539106081955841>


	109. Shotgun

Dean: I'm driving!

Nick: Shotgun!

Sam: Aww! But you had it on the way HERE

Dean: Woah woah woah!

Nick: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat, *cocks gun*

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1086540981367844864>


	110. Dean Winchester running a hurdle race

Nick: *holding megaphone whiled driving a car* If you fuckheads could pick up the pace that would be fucking stellar this shit's moving slower than Dean Winchester running a hurdle race.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1086722007373205505>


	111. they were roommates

Lillith: and they were roommates! *walks past Nick*

Nick: Oh my God, they were roommates.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1086723423261274112>


	112. I'M NOT GOING BACK TO JAIL

Nick: Look at the buns on that guy *points at an unconscious person on the floor covered in hamburger buns*

Cas: This is the comedy police! The joke's too funny!

Sam&Dean: *runs in with sunglasses FBI style*

Nick: *pulls out a gun* I'M NOT GOING BACK TO JAIL

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1086725225817956352>


	113. dying inside

Nick: *strumming Ukelele* Hey, how you doing? Well I'm doing just fine, I lied. I'm dying inside

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1086727105088352261>


	114. Chapter 114

Spider: *exists*

Jack&Jesse Turner: *hiding behind Dean's back*

Dean: Alright guys, nothing to be afraid of!

Jack: Look!

Spider: *is gone*

Dean: Shit

___

Dean: Say goodbye to the house kids *drives away*

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1086731730050965504>


	115. Remember one time, I liked you?

Leviathan!Cass: Remember one time, I liked you?

Demon!Dean: No?

Leviathan!Cass: Good, cause, never happened!

Demon!Dean: Aww

Leviathan!Cass: Haha! *holds up middle finger* Hooo!

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1086841952052473856>


	116. Bet'cha can't get a 'Yes' from me

Micheal: I can make people work for me, against their own will. I mean, I can control monsters!

Dean: Bet'cha can't get a 'Yes' from me, bitch.

 

1 second later

 

Micheal!Dean: I left the door open, who's laughing now. Fool.

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1086842893241708544>


	117. half-brother

Jesse Turner: I am a Cambion, half demon, half human.

Jack: I'm a Nephilim, half angel, well archangel and half human.

Jesse T.: *whispering with watery eyes* Are you my half-brother?

Jack: Well...we are both half human, so yeah!

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1086843743423016960>


	118. I need Lucifer back

Nick: I have killed a lot of people and don't feel bad about it whatsoever because I need Lucifer back

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1086895540124639232>


	119. I know I was there

*Gabriel and Castiel are looking at a magic fire thing*

Gabriel: lol, look Cassie a dork joined the two brothers *touches fire*

Gabriel: ouch

Castiel: It's fire, Gabriel; it's hot.

Gabriel: *pouty face* I know I was there

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1087186199112904704>

 


	120. A smoothe

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1087763654676602880>


	121. People!

Nick: *Behind a glass wall holding phone* What do I hate the most!?

Castiel: People!

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1087765090936352768>


	122. Housing a Cambion

John: Dean, why are you housing a Cambion!?

Dean: Me, Sam and Cas adopted him; I mean, Jack's gotta have someone like him.

John: Half-human?

Dean: Yeah!

 


	123. A friend

Mary: What

Nick: Hi

Mary: Who are you?

Nick: *tries to think of something*

Nick: A friend

 


	124. French fries have salt

Azazel, possessing John: This is a foolproof plan!

____

Dean: Dad, here have a french fry

Azazel!John: Thanks, son! *eats french fry* *suddenly insides are burning*

Dean: French fries have salt, bitch

Azazel!John: Fuck


	125. The Pie doesn't have legs

Dean; eating pie Sam; the bunker is on fire. you can save me or the pie, what do you choose

Dean; well that's not a fair question

Sam; h?? ow??

Dean; the pie doesn't have legs

 

<https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect/status/1088208695354318848>


	126. NICK WHY

Nick:I killed a man.

Castiel: Don't do that, please.

Nick: Too late, hun; I killed two more, sorry.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus
> 
> Nick: I also tased a lady.
> 
> Castiel: N I C K! ! ! W H Y


	127. Tree?

Dean: Why are you on a tree?

Nick: Castiel says that I'm in trouble.

Dean: What for?

Nick: Attempted murder spree and I tased a woman.


	128. 3 weeks ad 3 hours

Sam: I am surprised that Cass got mad at the both of you at the same time What did you do.

Nick: Crime, got 'grounded' and ended up in a tree for the next 3 hours.

Dean: Told him his cooking's bad, *sniffs* he didn't talk to me for 3 weeks.

Nick:

Nick: Are you OK?

Dean: N o


	129. Powered by sadness

Dean: What'chu got?

Nick: I made a hat, that's powered by s a d n e s s

Nick: *puts on hat and floats away*

*Loud flute music playing*


	130. Pie Explodes

Jesse Turner: Jack, I can't sleep

Jack: Neither can I

Jesse: Wanna bake pie?

Jack: Sure

__

10 mins later pie explodes in the oven

Meg: What did you two do!?

Jack&Jesse: We tried to make pie


	131. bloody contractors

Crowley: I'm here to talk to Dean, he killed one of my bloody contractors again.


	132. You're forgetting the fact that I d i e d

Asmodeus: You were supposed to find Lucifer'S son

Dagon: You're forgetting the fact that I d i e d


	133. OK what'd you break

Jack: Sam, your one of the best out of my 3 dads

Sam: Awww- OK what'd you break?


	134. the pit 𝘺𝘰𝘶 fell in

Dean: Can you two go talk somewhere else? I'm trying to watch TV.

Sam&Castiel: We're talking about the pit 𝘺𝘰𝘶 fell in


	135. Oh shit the cops

Nick: Oh shit the cops, I stab a demon in the eye and this is what I get- oh wait it was because I stole a truck, nevermind


	136. Meg happened

Meg: Hi, Clare-

Castiel, with combed hair: Yes?

Meg: What happened to your hair?

Cass: I combed it

Meg: That is not allowed, hold still *places hands on Cass's head*

__

10 minutes later

Sam: What happened to your hair?

Cass: Meg happened.

Meg: *proud of herself*


	137. zoo pt 1

Cass: *runs in with 5 ferrets* Dean! Can I keep these?

Dean: *not paying attention* Yeah, sure, 10 mins later

Cass: *runs in with 3 cats, 3 dogs, a bird, and 4 rabbits* Dean! Can I keep these?

Dean: *still not paying attention* Sure,

11 minutes later

Dean: CASS!


	138. zoo pt2

Meg: So you're telling me that Clarence is planning a zoo?

Dean: YES!! He came in with a deer and a tiger! A LIVING TIGER!


	139. What a nice day

Ruby: What a nice day to be outside.....and go back inside with Sam and try to get him to kill Lillith


	140. DEAN THERE'S DOGS

Sam: DEAN THIS IS AMAZING THERE'S DOGS!

Dean: No, you can't keep them

Sam: But Dean. DOGS!

Dean: We have a hellhound!

Sam: Koifish won't let me pet her, and Cass came in with more dogs.

Dean:

Dean: Fine.


	141. Oh my God you have Sam

Kidnapper, on the phone with Cass: We have your boyfriend

Cass: I don't have a boyfriend

Kidnapper: Then who's the tall giant guy?

Cass: Oh my God, you have Sam.


	142. I am not. Fucking. Drunk

Castiel: Look how drunk you are!

Nick: I am not drunk!

Cass: Can you tell the time?

Nick: Yes. *turns over to clock*

Nick: I am not. Fucking. Drunk.


	143. Watch your fucking language

Demon!Dean @ Crowley: Sorry I'm late I was...uh doing things

*thumping noises*

Demon 1: *huffing* HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!

Demon!Dean: Push is such a strong word, I prefer it 'giving you a little nudge'

Demon 1: Oh I'll give you a little nudge when I shove my foot up your ass!

Demon!Dean: Hey! Watch your fucking language infront of the King of Hell

Crowley: *sigh*

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My twitter has a lot of incorrect quotes!  
> So if chapters aren't added yet, be sure to check here to keep up!  
> https://twitter.com/spn_incorrect


	144. Did you wash the dishes?

Sam: Did you wash the dishes?

Dean: I thought you were going to

Sam: Ha. N o

 

 


	145. FUCK YOU THAT WHY

Abraxas: *slams bunker door open* WHASSUP MEATSUITS!!??

Dean: WHY ARE YOU IN THE BUNKER!?

Abraxas: FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY!


	146. JINGLE JANGLED

Dean: *wakes up to find himself wrapped in Christmas tree decorations* I'VE BEEN JINGLE JANGLED


	147. Didn't the bitch spun away.

Dean: Last night I got attacked by a Goddamn ballerina, she tried to make me pass away, didn't the bitch spun away.


	148. Aww, you think I'm hot,

Castiel: Why were you laughing at Hot Topic?

Sam: Aww, you think I'm hot,


	149. What Deal?

Dean: Cass, who the fuck is this?

The Empty: Hello, Castiel, it's time to go; we made a deal.

Sam:

Cass: Uh....

Sam: What deal?


	150. I can't swim

Young!Castiel: I can't swim,

Teen!Raphael: How old are you?

Young!Castiel: Six

Teen!Raphael: *picks up Castiel and throws him into the lake*


	151. Look. Stairs

Kevin: *sniffles*

Cass: Kevin, are you crying?

Kevin: Look.   
Stairs.


	152. ¿A quién le estás diciendo que te cállate?

???: Shut up!

Jo:

Jo: ¿A quién le estás diciendo que te cállate?

¿Me estás diciendo que me cállate?


	153. There is a vulture in front of my home

Kevin: There is a vulture in front of my home

Vulture: *chilling on the chimney*

Kevin: *starts spraying water from the water hose at vulture*   
THIS IS NOT YOUR LAND!   
GO!!!


	154. Prank gone wrong

Dean: Prank time! *puts white sheets over himself and sneaks towards Kevin*

Kevin: *screams, gets out of bed and runs*

Dean: *snickering*

Kevin: *runs back screaming and hits Dean with a chair*


	155. Are you studying for your finals?

Sam: Are you studying for your finals?

Jesse: *places game in*

Sam: Jesse

Jesse: *turns on Zelda: Breath of the Wild*

Sam: Stop it

Jesse: *starts the game*

Sam: Are you kidding me?

Jesse: *proceeds to play the game*


	156. My neck's not broken

Nick: Please donate to help fix this lone man's broken neck

Dean: My neck's not broken

Nick: *shoves Dean to make him fall*

Nick: Yes it is


	157. I'm coming to kill you where do you live?

Person reading a book, on the phone with Nick: Who is it?

Nick: I'm coming to kill you where do you live?

Person: 77 East Kansas Ave, I live in a red house


	158. Piano playing

Nick @ Abraxas: Go suck a dick, suck a dick, suck a motherfucking dick

Castiel, playing the piano: Suck a dick, suck a huge or small dick.


	159. Two shots of Vodka

Nick: Two shots, of vodka *proceeds to pour the entire vodka bottle into bowl*


	160. What the fuck is all of this!?

Lucifer: *wakes up to find himself covered in valentines day decor*

What the fuck is all of this!?


	161. Horrible Brother?

Teen!Gabe: Alright Cassie I'm ba- Cassie? Cassie where'd you go!!? Oh Dad...I lost my little bro!

____ 10 mins later

Teen!Micheal: Gabriel, why was Castiel on Eart-....Gabriel?

Teen!Gabe, sobbing while curled up in a ball: I lost my brother, I'm a horrible brotheeerrrr *sobs*

 

 


	162. Try me bitch.

Jack: *shakes a bag of candy infront of Lucifer*

Lucifer: Put that candy back! I'm not buying you all that mess!

Jack: *throws candy bag at Lucifer's head*

Lucifer: Try me bitch.


	163. I hate my self. Oh, I hate myself.

Nick: *playing piano* I hate my self. Oh, I hate myself.


	164. DEAN TURN IT OFF

Sam: Dean, Cass is stuck in the ceiling fan again.

Dean, too tired and didn't hear

Sam: *turns on lights and ceiling fan*

*Castiel screaming in distress*

Dean: Oh SHIT

Sam: DEAN TURN IT OFF


	165. Let all of the voices out of your head

Meditation instructor: Let all of the voices out of your head

Nick: *SCREAMS*


	166. I am not your son, leAVE

John: Adam! My son

Adam Milligan: I am not your son, leAVE


	167. A demon has her ways, Clarence.

Cass: How were you able to get inside the laundry cleaner to scare Dean?

Meg: A demon has her ways, Clarence.


	168. That's dark

Adam: So, what--- you're gonna repress everything in some deep, dark, twisted, place until one day you snap and kill them?

Nick: Yep

Adam: That's dark


	169. You're right, I'm not going to fight them.  .... Except that I am!

Sam: You're not going to fight them, Dean.

Dean: You're right, I'm not going to fight them.   
.... Except that I am!   
*runs towards the danger*


	170. VIne

  
Basically a video form of incorrect SPN


	171. Yogurt

Gabriel: *on some anesthesia*

  
Sam: How tall are you?

  
Gabriel: *processing words*

  
Gabriel: .....yogurt


	172. SPN vine 2




	173. SPN Vine 3




	174. Vinegar

Demon!Dean: Hey can I have a sip of that water?

Soulless!Sam: It's not water

Demon!Dean: Vodka! I like your style-

Soulless!Sam: It's vinegar


	175. Listen here you little shit

Nick: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Abraxas: idk why?

Nick: To get to the idiot's house  
Knock knock

Abraxas: Who's there?

Nick: The chicken

Abraxas:

Abraxas: Listen here you little shit


	176. That was Meg

Meg: Why are all of the doors locked!?

Dean: A demon came into here so we are under lock down.

Cass: Dean, that was Meg.

Dean:

Dean: Oh.


	177. What

Donna: You better start telling the truth.

Nick: Is the light suppose to scare me or something?

Donna: *nods and turns on lamp light*

Nick: I KILLED HER!  
*sudden realization*  
w h a t


	178. DRIVE

Castiel: *hurringly gets into car* Drive.

Sam: What-- why?

Castiel: I just robbed a bank.

Sam: What!?

Castiel: I stole a pen, from the front desk OK? Drive!


	179. WHERE'S MY MONEY

Meg: Where's my money!?

Gabriel: I wrote you a check!

Meg: Yeah, I saw *holds up a piece paper with a check mark*

Gabriel: *snickers*

Meg, throwing piece of paper onto table:  
You think this is funny!?  
*smirking a little bit*  
It's a little funny


	180. YOU SHOT OUT WAITER

Cass: OH MY GOD NICK!

Nick, holding a gun: What!?

Cass: YOU SHOT OUR WAITER!

Nick: What was I supposed to do? He came at me with a knife,

Cass: That's because you ordered the steak!

Nick: That....is not an excuse


	181. Emotional Support

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I ship these two, OK?

Lily Baker: I miss my girlfriend

Charlie: Me too

Lily Baker: She can't be replaced

Charlie: Niether can mine

Lily Baker: Let's be each other's emotional support

Charlie: That would sound nice


	182. We are the cops!

Donna: *licks coke* Yep, that's definitely cocai- oh no.

Jody: What? What's wrong?

Donna: I can't feel my tongue!

Jody: Well, what do you want me to do?

Donna: Call the police!

Jody: We are the police!


	183. Don't Need Bones

Cass: It sounds like bones are breaking

Random Demon: Where we're going we don't need bones

Nick: w h a t t h e f u c k d o y o u m e a n b y t h a t


	184. Unicorn

Sam: Describe Cass in one word.

Meg: Unicorn


	185. Unsafe

Dean: Would you rather, kill Abraxas or-

Nick: Yes, kill him.

Dean: I didn't say the other-

Nick: I don't need to hear it.

Abraxas: .....I'm feeling a little unsafe


	186. Storks

Jack: Dean, where do babies come from?

Dean: A stork!

Jack: Isn't the baby too heavy?

Dean: It's a magical stork!

Jack: That doesn't make sense.

Dean: Fuck it......DADDY FUCKED MOMMY!


	187. Gates of Hell

(spn highschool AU)

Abraxas: And my dichondra is the powerhouse of the cell...your turn.

Nick: The gates of Hell awaits you.

Abraxas: OK...I don't know why he said that


	188. Tree

Castiel: *literally has an entire tree impaling him through his chest* *points at Micheal!Dean* I blame you for this

Micheal!Dean: I didn't do anything.


	189. Bluffing

 

Person: Bees are dying out

Castiel, sad tone: What?

Meg: *Holding knife behind Person's back* Don't worry Clarence, they're just bluffing...right?

Person: ....yep.

 


	190. NI C E

Meg: *sitting next to Castiel, who's asleep* Nice..

Castiel: *cuddles closer to Meg, still asleep*

Meg: *choking back tears* NI C E


	191. Bodies in the basement

Cass: Micheal says your in trouble

Lucifer: Did he find the bodies in the basement

Cass: What

Lucifer: What


	192. On your own now

Cass @ Dean: Yeah, speaking of chiming in remember that one time you burned down the building I worked at? Gas n' Sip?

Dean: .....

Dean: *turns to face Sam* Yeah, you're on your own now.


	193. Fake blood

Castiel: Oh, it’s Lucifer!

Gabriel: Did he get me the stuff?

Castiel: Yeah he said he got you the power drill, the clown costume and 12 gallons of blood

Gabriel: Wow, where do you find 12 gallons of fake blood?

Castiel: You wanted fake blood? ......I’ll go call Lucifer.


	194. I don't want this

Lucifer: *staring at Fledgling Cass* I don't want this

Lucifer: *places Fledgling Castiel in a UPS box then shoves the box in the mailbox*


	195. Shifty

Gabriel: *holding a box of pranks* Ready to do something a little...shifty?

Lucifer: Gabe, look who you're talking to


	196. Well, I've killed somebody

Person: Have you ever killed anyone famous?

Nick, cleaning his blood-stained Angel Blade: John Krasinski

Person: ...... He's still alive.

Nick: Well, I've killed somebody.


	197. Goddamn Morgue

Person: *pointing at door splattered with blood* Spooky door!

Nick: It's supposed to be spooky, it's a goddamn morgue, Joe.


	198. DON'T EAT THE PACKING PEANUTS!

Sam: *cooking food*   
*hears shifting noise*   
*turns around seeing Castiel in a box of packing peanuts*

Castiel: *bites a packing peanut*

Sam: DON'T EAT THE PACKING PEANUTS!


	199. THAT KILLS PEOPLE!

Nick: and uh...I stabbed him 36 times in the chest

Cass: NICK! THAT KILLS PEOPLE!

Nick: Oh wow, I uh... I didn't know that.


	200. I'll be right back

Cass: Nick did you hide a dead body in my closet?

Nick: Two

Cass: I only found one

Nick, sweating nervously and thinking; _oh shit, one escaped_

Nick: I'll be right back


	201. He died like...an hour ago.

Cass: Hey man,

Nick: Hey,

Cass: .... What's wrong with Chris?

Nick: Do you want the long version or the short version?

Cass: I want you to tell me what happened to Chris

Nick: Alright.... Chris is dead now

Cass: WhAt?!

Nick: He died like...an hour ago.


	202. hey how did that get there?

Cass: NICK! THERE IS A DEAD HUMAN IN OUR HOUSE!

Nick: Oh wow, hey how did that get there?


	203. The stars are so beautiful

Meg: The stars are so beautiful

Cass: They're just giant balls of gas

Meg: you know what, if you're just going to ruin this then I--

Cass: and yet none of them are as huge as my love for you

Meg: Oh...


	204. My condolences

Dean: God help the person who's dating Nick

Cass: I'm dating Nick

Dean: ...

Dean: My condolences


	205. Well then I don’t care!

Sam: Sharing is caring!

Meg, holding both of Cass’s hands: Well then I don’t care!

 

 


	206. 11 pm

Sam: It's 11 pm.   
Why are you drinking coffee, Turner?

Jesse: Because I can, and because you and Dean locked Jack in a box.

Sam: are you still mad about that?

Jesse: Yes


	207. Sir, this is a children's slide.

Jack: Cass! There's a drunk stuck in the slide!

Castiel: Sir, this is a children's slide.

Dean, drunk: *unintelligible speech*


	208. egg carton full of Barbie heads

Sam: Can someone explain to me why there is an egg carton full of Barbie heads?

Gabriel and Dean: *uncontrollable snickering* Don't know.


	209. Don’t speak of them.

Jesse: Who’s that?

Jack: My father Satan

Jesse: ....what about Sam and Dea-

Jack: Don’t speak of them.

Jesse: What about Castiel?

Jack: He’s cool, he didn’t lock me in the box, unlike the two people who did.


	210. Don't patronize me, Dean

Dean: I'm sorry for saying 'You're dead to me', Cass

Castiel: Don't patronize me, Dean


	211. Your car

Donna: Sir, is this your car?

Nick: Nope, it's yours  
*drives off with police car*


	212. This shade of blue

Sam: Nick, you're within 20ft of people, where's your shirt?

Nick: Please don't make me wear it.

Sam: Who has the number to his parole officer?

Everybody else: *raises their hand*

Nick, wearing a blue shirt saying MURDERER: This shade of blue is disgusting.


	213. I just want his teeth

****

Nick: I'm going to rip his teeth out.

Meg: What did he do to you?

Nick: Oh, nothing I just want his teeth


	214. baby bird

Castiel, holding a baby crow: I found an abandoned bird, can I keep-

Dean: No

Meg: Yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tdlr; Meg and Castiel become bird parents


	215. Help

Cass: Meg, can you help me bring a field of flowers, trees and butterflies into the bunker?

Meg: What's in it for me?

Cass: An unlimited supply of kisses and cuddles, and a batch of cookies

Meg: I'm in.


	216. Soldier Poet Kind Edition 1

Incorrect SPN Soldier Poet King edition

Emmanuel: What a nice sunny day. Time to go to the beach.

Castiel: No. I go out at night

Emmanuel: ..... It's been 9 months since you've seen the sun. You're going outside and I will drag you outside

Castiel: I'd like to see you try


	217. Magician

 

Magician: *slams cup down and a dove emerges from the cup*

Castiel: How did you do that!?

Magician, whispering: It's partially deboned.

Dove: *trying to fly*

Castiel: Why?

 


	218. Because it's fun!

Lucifer: OK, now rip their heads off.

Nick: Why?

Lucifer, laughing: Because it's fun!


	219. Fucking Quicksand

Nick: I am never trusting you with a map ever again.

Castiel: Why is that?

Nick: BECAUSE WE ARE LITERALLY IN FUCKING QUICKSAND!


	220. Bird = Dead Dad

Bird: *flies through the window into the house*

Jack: Dad's here!

Dean: He thinks that the bird is his dead father: Castiel.

Rowena: Maybe it is him


	221. Broken Coffee Machine

Bartholomew: I broke it, it burned my hand so I punched it.

Bartholomew: I predict ten minutes from now they'd be at each other throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Bartholomew: Good, it was getting a little chummy around here.


	222. I ate all of your nougats

Dean, holding video camera: I ate all of your nougats.

Jack: Fuck you motherfucker!


	223. I shouldn't have licked it

Alastair @ Sam, Dean, Cass, Gabe, Jesse and Jack: My knife, you see... is coated in poison. The smallest cut can be fatal. Take care. My knife... has quite a burn.

Alastair: I shouldn't have licked it.  
*collapses*


	224. Well the deer, had a husband.

Sam: We ran over his wife!

Rowena: We ran over. A deer.

Sam: Well the deer, had a husband.


	225. Where's my 20 bucks you punk!?

Dean: Sam, Cass! There's too many zombies!

Familiar Zombie: *ready to kill them*

Dean: Is that Chasie?

Chasie: *stops*

Dean: Where's my 20 bucks you punk!?

Chasie: *runs away*


	226. It is a dog, Gabriel.

Lucifer: Is that.. an alien?

Alien dog-thing: *angry growl*

Gabriel: It has a dog!

Castiel: It is a dog, Gabriel.


	227. If anyone's gonna die first

Castiel: Gabriel... this is an alien invasion.

Gabriel, wearing a glow sticks: Come on, Cassie! 'Brighten' up!"

Lucifer: If anyone's gonna die first, it's gonna be Gabriel.


	228. Your fingers are touching

Chuck: I am this close to ending it all

Castiel: Your fingers are touching.

Chuck: Exactly, *snaps fingers*


	229. I’ll go get the shovel

Jack: Nick! I did something terrible!

Nick: I’ll go get the shovel

Jack: I-- what did you think I did?

Nick: Doesn't matter. No one will ever know


	230. set a lake on fire?

Lucifer: How do you extinguish water from a lake?

Nick: How do you set a lake on fire?

Lucifer: Funny story actually.


	231. and burnt the house down

**Castiel** : what is the one thing I told you not to do

 **Nick** : burn the house down

 **Castiel** : and what did you do

 **Nick** : made you dinner

 **Castiel** :

 **Nick** :

 **Castiel** :

 **Nick** : and burnt the house down


End file.
